Particles of Literature

Me: Dang another day of torture.
How many times do I have to draw a stupid tree?
I just don’t get it. I feel like I’m three.
Let me find a tree and torch it.

Let me go to my closet.
I need a nap.

I do kind of like art,
But who knows if I’ll grow up
I just move through the motions
I play my part.

Leave me alone.
I need a nap.

I’m soooo tired. I’m always tired.
I can hardly open my eyes
when I can I see things expired.
My eyes have no room for cries.

My closet’s the place for me.
I need a nap.
Don’t look at me.
I need a nap.

"It's easier not to say anything ... Nobody really wants to hear what you
have to say." (page 9)

I can really relate with Melinda and her inability to speak. I went through a large portion of my life without the ability to talk about what I was feeling or anything else in general. I cannot, however, pinpoint what took my voice away like the story did for Melinda. There are many reasons I lost my voice. The very stereotypical wicked step-father played a huge role in it. My mothers inability to talk to her five children could be another reason. I was also a middle child so it was easy to disappear. The number one culprit was teen-age alcohol and drug use.

I was always a shy kid, so I overcompensated with the friends I chose. I had big friends who could protect the small kid that I was. I had loud friends that drew attention away from me. It was easy to get lost in silence. By the time junior high-school happened all the friends, who I chose so carefully for protection, scattered and I found myself alone in my quite world. Eighth grade was torture for me someone started a rumor that my middle name was sucks (Dee sucks Cox). What thirteen year old could fight such a nasty thing? It only made me withdraw more from the world as I knew it.

When I tried alcohol for the first time I was in love. It made me feel free. It helped me talk to others. With the help of alcohol I could be who anyone else wanted me to be, but I could never myself. I knew I would never be accepted as myself.

I found it ironic that Melinda re-found her voice in the very same person that took it away. The thief of my voice wasn’t so easily identifiable so it took me years of struggle and slide to finally hit a bottom to where I could begin the trudge back to my voice. I remember the moment my voice returned like it was yesterday. It was 8-1/2 years ago. I sober for a short time and it was very first time I shared part of my story with another human being. It was a moment of freedom and release. It was at that moment I decided to share my story with anyone who would listen. If it helped one person, the life I’ve lived would be worth the pain.

I doubt this first reviewer even read the book. Nicole claims the book is boring and that there is no “mysterie”. She also claims it’s filled with a bunch of “bragging about teachers and friends,” another reason for me to believe that Nicole never read this book. Just from the few reviews that Nicole has written I conclude that she is so religious centered that anything she reads that has normal teenage behavior (drinking and swearing) and reality situations (depression and rape) she labels and boring. My review of Nicole's reveiw would be immature and unwilling to look at the reality of teen rape.

One of the more scathing reviews(scroll down to A Kids Review) comes from a seventh grader who was “forced” to read this book for class. This appears to be from a student who was shocked by the reality of the story, after all, teen rape happens every day. Apparently, the teacher did not adequately prepare these kids for the content of this novel. There really isn’t an easier way to discuss the reality of teen rape than to bring it out to the forefront. Horrified reactions should be expected. I think, however, the reaction would be less intense with more preparation.

For my last reviewer, I find it very interesting that a middle school media specialist is making it her personal mission to steer kids away from books she thinks inappropriate. I wonder what is her justification is to do this; because she is a librarian; or, because she thinks she knows what’s best for every kid in her middle school? Does she really think it’s appropriate to sweep the everyday horrors of growing up under the rug. Out of site, out of mind? It’s more of an impropriety to deny these kids the realness of the very books she has on her inappropriate list.